I've been reading a book that looks set to shake me and my way of living into bits - with great results. It's called "Leading with a Limp", by a guy called Dan B. Allender. He's the founding president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

I'm really qualified to read this book, as I have a bad knee. I first damaged it some time after England won the World Cup, and it has returned with a vengeance recently. I've had a doctor's appointment and also some physio, with no real benefit so far. I find this knee problem irritating, but I've learned to live with it. I'm hoping that on the 3rd March it'll get healed (we have a healing day then, see our calender page). Perhaps it means England will win the World Cup soon.

However I think our hearts are a different thing altogether. Even if we get our own life in perfect order, someone else will mess it up within about three seconds. Life can seem like a series of crashes and bumps which form us and shape us into what we are, as we frantically try to get the sails up and find some smooth water on our journey to heaven. As a leader I know this well. You get burned frequently, and anyone who thinks you are sure of the precise route to take the Church down may end up disappointed.

Let's face it, even Jesus did not satisfy all his disciples: we're certainly not going to satisfy our followers, or even ourselves. Lately I've been wondering which route is the right one for us, and though I really want to know, I'm no nearer finding out. I'm more aware of my own limp in the choices I make, the spot decisions I have to take, and how I deal with people in all areas of my life who are all limping and mostly are too ashamed to admit it, or have no idea that they are.

What liberty it would be to be able to openly limp along together, picking each other up after each stumble, allowing others to pick us up too. No pretence and no illusions. Churches have the message of greatest liberty but often harbour the greatest pretence. Why oh why do we do it?

I'll let you know how I get on with the book. Do please comment, we might get a bit of dialogue going...